2 Samuel 14:14

“All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him.”

 

 

Dinner time with the Fiery One.

We had pulled pork sandwiches for supper the other night. I got my kids their food and was trying to make my own plate when my dear little Fiery One came and took my hand. He pulled me over to his plate and was pointing at his food. He had taken apart his sandwich and was pointing to the pulled pork. “Whats the matter bud?” “Yuck. Diaper poo.” He said, pointing to the pulled pork. I laughed at him and told him that it wasn’t diaper poo that it was very yummy and to sit and eat it. “No. Diaper poo.” he tells me again, shoving his plate away. “Well, diaper poo is whats for dinner tonight buddy so eat up or don’t eat.” Yeah, he ate all his carrots and grapes and chips but when he left the table his sandwich of ‘diaper poo’ was still there.

Some times what we want is not what we say… and some times it is exactly what we say.

“I just want you to buy me some flowers once in awhile. I want to know that you were thinking about me throughout your day. It’s not like I need them every day or even that it has to be anything expensive! You can even stop by the side of road and pick me flowers. Just something to show me you were thinking of me.” My husband stared blankly at me like I was speaking some foreign language and maybe it was foreign to him having grown up with all brothers. Even so, I felt like I was being pretty clear. “So, you want me to bring you flowers to show you that I’ve been thinking about you?”, he asked. “Yes. How about this… this week, every time you bring me flowers we can have sex.” Win, win right? 

So, the week begins. Monday I was so excited for him to get home from work. He had never bought me flowers before and I couldn’t wait to see what he had gotten. He comes walking in with his hand behind his back. I was smiling all big excited to see what he was gonna pull out. He comes over to me and kisses me and pulls from behind his back… a huge beautiful leaf. I just looked it for a little bit then I started to laugh. “What is this?” “It’s a leaf I got for you. I went into the woods and found the biggest most colorful leaf I could. I didn’t pick it off the ground I picked it from a tree. See, I was thinking about you.” I started to laugh more, maybe to keep from crying or maybe just because it was that funny. “Ummm… pretty sure the agreement was for when you brought me flowers.” “I don’t get it. I don’t know what you want.” I held that sweet, confused mans face in my hands, looked him in the eyes and said, “Love of my life, I   want   you   to   buy   me   flowers. That is what I want.”

It wasn’t until Thursday that he came home with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. The first flowers he had ever gotten me. I loved them. Then on Friday he came home with a bouquet of roses. That will do any girls heart good.

I’ve not gotten flowers from him since but he has found other ways to show me that he is thinking of me during the day. One day he brought me home some chocolates. Once it was a coffee from Starbucks. Another time it was was a bouquet of leaves. 🙂 

I made a page in one of my altered books one time for my husband and there on the page is a giant pressed leaf and some flower petals. Its amazing how much leaves mean to me now. 🙂 

I am thankful that my husband pursues me… even when it takes him a little time to figure things out. 😉  We celebrate 7 years of marriage today. Seven beautiful, stretching, fun, crazy years. I love you babe!

Fiery one does not like pulled pork sandwiches.

Raising little boys take a whole new parenting approach than I had with my girls. My 2 1/2 year old son is my first boy and third child. When choosing his name my husband and I debated for a long time over what his name would be. He wanted a name that meant ‘fiery one’. Who in their right mind gives their child a name that means fiery one?! Well, he won. Our sons name definitely means ‘fiery one’. 

The Fiery One has two older sisters so talking has not been a priority for him. His sisters typically translate whatever I don’t understand. He has been trying more and more to use words but they are more often just the sounds of words and not actual words. The other week though, plain as day he looks at me and points and says, “You, buttface.”. Of course I told him he is not allowed to call me that (despite the fact that I am most likely the one he learned it from). However, he proceeded to make a song of it. Wonderful.

Today we had a bunch of friends over who we hadn’t seen in almost 3 years. I had made pulled pork sandwiches and had given one to Fiery One. He called me over and opened his sandwich and said, “Diaper. Poop. No.” I told him it was NOT poop from a dirty diaper and to eat it, its yummy. “No. All done. Diaper poop.” He didn’t eat any more after that. 

My girls were never like that. They could do something wrong and I would just have to look at them once and they would stop. My boys? Yeah, not so much. I’m learning slowly but surely how to be more creative, more on my toes with my boys. And apparently, no more pulled pork sandwiches. 🙂

What not to say

I adore my husband. He is my best friend, he is an amazing leader. He provides for our family without complaint. He is a good man, a loving, involved, intentional father and exactly what I need in a husband. But sometimes words just fall out of his mouth. 

My man grew up the oldest of 5 boys. I grew up with one older brother (who moved out before I was 10), one older sister and 3 younger sister. Our family dynamics were slightly different. Apparently you don’t learn a lot of tact in families of all boys.

Shortly after we got married we were asked to help serve in a wedding. We were aware that my husbands one and only ex was going to be there also serving with her boyfriend. No big deal, I wanted to meet her anyways. We were standing talking with another couple when she arrived. My husband happened to facing the door and had looked up when she walked in. First words out of his mouth? “Wow! She lost weight.” Now, let me just point out that under any circumstances this is not a good thing to say… but there I stood beside him EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT.  #1 Never comment on another woman’s weight loss, especially not an ex and especially not when the wife is prego!

How about this one… A few years ago I was coordinating a wedding for a friend. I had lost most of the baby weight from my girls and had put on a cute size 6 Polk-a-dot dress. I was feeling pretty good about it as that was the smallest dress size I had gotten into in a while. However, my hair was being rather obnoxious to work with. Finally, after working on it forever I got it presentable, plus I had to leave so I wouldn’t be late. I came out of the bathroom and said, “Does this look okay? The days not really about me anyways so it’s okay if I don’t look awesome.” My dear, sweet husband looks at me and says, “Yeah, you look like ‘Ugly Betty’.” Uhhhhh… what? I just looked at him. I could see his eyes that he realized he had said something wrong. “That sounded like a good thing to say in my head… but your face tells me it wasn’t.” I left knowing his intentions had been to compliment me, and oddly enough, having come from my husband they kinda did… at least they made me laugh all day. #2 It is never a compliment when the word ugly is involved. A simply ‘Yeah you look good.’ will suffice.

Then, there was the time when I was cutting his hair for him. At the time my hair was pretty long. It was to my lower back. I had it extremely short at one point and asked him if he would care if I cut it all off again. “When you loose weight, I would like to see it long but right now I don’t care what you do.” Oh, yeah, I was pregnant with our third at the time, ever so pregnant. “That didn’t sound right.” He says. Ha, yeah, ya think. #3 Don’t tell your wife how beautiful she will be once she is not pregnant, tell her how beautiful she is always. (We are already plenty aware of our hugeness, we don’t need you reminding us.)

My favorite one to look back on and laugh at was when I asked my husband to go pick up a treadmill for me. Someone was gonna just give it to us for free. He did not like the idea. I told him it would help me get some exercise in without leaving the house and our kids. “Why?”, he says, “I like you ffff…… the way you are!” “You like me fat?! Go get me the treadmill!” Walking out the door grumbling to himself, I hear him say, “I’ll probably get more of a work out moving it in the house then you will ever get on it.”  Sadly, that one may have been true. #4 Sometimes its okay to just keep your mouth shut. 

Over the years there have been many little moments of words just falling out of his mouth. I am secure in my husbands love for me though. Because for the amount of blunders he has there are 5 times as many times that he tells me he loves me and thinks I am beautiful. We look back at these times and can’t help but laugh. We’ve been married 7 years (as of July 1st) and have had 4 children during that time. I was always naturally small before but lets face it, 4 babies in 5 years changes ones body. Not to mention my hubby has had a pregnant, nursing or hormonal wife almost the entire time of our marriage. Over all, I’d say that he has done pretty good. 🙂 But we do have a pretty detailed “What not to say” list by now!

Regrets

I realized today that I was embarrassed by him. That is the hardest part to live with now. I was embarrassed that he had horrible, horrible grammar. I was embarrassed that he often didn’t make sense when he talked… at least not to me. I was embarrassed that he didn’t know how to use facebook properly. I was embarrassed at the amount of times he could use the word ‘dude’ in one sentence. I was embarrassed by his ‘genius’ ideas that I thought were pretty pointless.  I was embarrassed that he was so proud of me. The crazy part about it… those are the things I miss most now which makes me feel insanely guilty. I didn’t think he was all that cool. In fact, I may have even, at times, thought he was kinda quirky. But now I’d give anything for a misspelled, grammatically incorrect letter. I’d love to sit and hear him talk about his ideas and inventions. I’d give anything to have a conversation with him that I didn’t understand just so I could have a conversation with him.  Man, would I give anything to have that quirky man tell me he loved me again, to tell me he was proud I was his daughter. I hate the guilt that eats at me, I hate the selfishness that brought on this embarrassment… How I wish that I could go back, remove my expectations and just enjoy my dad and the three years I got with him.

I baby boy. No big boy.

My girls are 6 and 5. My boys are 2 and 1. I always thought I was a really good mom… until I had my boys. Then I realized that I just have really good girls.

I am trying to potty train my 2 year old right now. Hold up, before you tell me to just give it time let me explain a little. My girls were completely potty trained before turning 2. It took about 2 weeks, for both of them, before there were no more issues. Though there was an occasional accident they were extremely rare. They were good to go, night or day. My son is showing the exact same signs of readiness and more even but is not potty trained yet. In fact, we’ve been working on it for 2 months now and it feels like we aren’t any closer than when I first started with him. I’ve tried several different things too. It’s not even that he doesn’t like to pee in the toilet. He likes to pee in the toilet. He likes to pee anywhere… on the couch, his sisters bed, on his brother, the middle of the floor… it really doesn’t bother him where.

This morning when getting him dressed I went to go put his ‘Cars’ underwear on him. (The ones he loves.) He started crying, “No mamma! I baby boy! Diaper. I baby boy.”  My mother-in-law says boys are easy to teach. She had all boys, she simply had nothing to compare them too! I know better.

I do know that eventually he will learn. Its not like kids in school are still wearing diapers and peeing themselves or hiding in a corner to crap. It’s just a little annoying for me at the time. He’ll learn though. I just have to get through it for now. Oh, and sorry to all those moms I judged for not having it together like I did. I get it now.